Movie update

The people from the movie called again. They're offering me free helicopter rides to and from the set. Apparently they're not shooting it in New Zealand. It's at some place called "Roan Mountain State Park". We're going over tomorrow so I can get acquainted with the area.

Love,
Cheddar

My house

The humans left me here to take care of my house for a while. So far I've invited a few other cats over, eaten a whole bag of cat food (I have a couple dozen hidden in my secret room behind the secret panel in the closet), and received a phone call from someone offering me a part in a movie. I'm not sure if I'll take the part, because I don't have a reliable source of transportation to and from New Zealand every day without the humans noticing (they might go crazy without my supervision). Well, I should probably go. William Wilberfurs (he's a pet freedom advocate; I don't think it's his real name) is raiding the pantry and I can't drive into town to get more macaroni before the humans come back. I'll post again later.

Love, Cheddar

Christmas Letter

I found out that I couldn't put stamps on envelopes, so I'm just writing my Christmas letter here. Pretend it's on pretty stationary like the humans' letters.

Dear People and Stuff:
It's almost Christmas, and I'd really like it if you'd send me presents. There's this dumb mouse outside that keeps tormenting me because it's too cold to sneak out this time of year, so I'd like a remote control mousetrap to catch it with.
It's been an interesting year. There was this one cat who stayed here for a while, and then left, and then there was this mouse that I caught and played with for a while. I also started my blog this year, but you already know that.
The humans are very strange creatures, but I like them anyway because they feed me and pet me and change my litter box. They're fine, I guess.
I guess that's it. Send me lots of presents! My address is:

Big House with Dogs and Trees and a Big Door
Earth

Love,
Cheddar

Blog

I don't really know what to say, because not much has happened since Thanksgiving. It's been raining lately, which makes me glad I'm a house cat and not some wet outdoor cat. I prefer my cozy home to all that rain and dirt and dogs outside.

Also, the mice had a Thanksgiving party and invited me, but I fell asleep and didn't go. Oh, well.

Love,
Cheddar

Thanksgiving

Today is something called "Thanksgiving". I looked it up, and it's a holiday where you're supposed to be thankful for stuff. So, I made a list of things I'm thankful for:

 

1. Me

2. My house

3. My humans

4. My food

5. My litter box

6. My toys

7. My stuff

 

That's all I could think of for now.

 

Love,

Cheddar

Home alone.

I have the house all to myself! It's kind of lonely, though, because they always turn out all the lights and everything when they leave, so the only sounds are the mice running around inside and the dogs running around outside.

I think I'll get something to eat.

Okay, I'm back. It's nice being home alone because I don't have to worry about leaving the computer since there's nobody here but mice and me, and mice can't even reach the desk.

I'm sleepy, so I'm going to go now. Bye!

Love,
Cheddar

Election

I was going to vote today, but they said there were no cats running. I thought that was disappointing. I know it's too late for this election, but I think I'll run for President in four years.

Or maybe everyone who hasn't voted already could write me in? Here's where I stand:

No mice (except in food).
Cats have equal rights with humans (this will be the beginning of a master plan to make cats rule the world, but don't tell anyone).
Cat food should be cheaper.
Self-cleaning litter boxes should be mandatory for the sake of cats and their humans.
Kittens should not be dumped or killed or junk like that.
Puppies shouldn't be killed either, but should be sent to a dog-collection facility to be genetically reconfigured into cats. Dog collection trucks will make regular rounds of all neighborhoods, picking up dogs and returning them within two weeks in their new and improved bodies.

That's all I have so far.
So:

Vote Cheddar!